Monday, June 24, 2013

learning~

The Layers



I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
“Live in the layers,
not on the litter.”
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.





i was in a little shop at the beach and picked up this book of poetry, where this poem presented itself to me.  i've read it over and over and feel such a sense of connection to the words here.
what's happening in my world is what is always happening.  i'm learning everyday, about people...about friends and friendships...about losses...and about the tribe that i have created for me-for my family.  feeling intact most of the time, but also sometimes scattered.  the force of some people is more difficult than others.  and some habits and behaviors i can not ignore, but contemplate...what to do with .  what i know is that i am constantly learning, constantly evolving,  constantly growing.
lessons come to me and sometimes it is days...or even months before i realize their meaning.  life is this gigantic classroom filled with the beautiful and the ugly...and it's up to us to decipher, learn, stay, or move on.  along the way, if we have art to keep us grounded and alive...to help us swim instead of sink, we are ahead in a way that only the artist in us can understand~
thanks to judy...and to all other inspiring beautiful friends and artists in my life for the gentle lessons and words of wisdom that you may or may not even realize you have instilled.
xo

Monday, June 17, 2013

staying~


after months of trying to sell our house, we have decided to stay~
what seemed like a really good idea...(selling), all of a sudden sounded like 
a bad idea ..(for a variety of resons).....so we have hunkered down, 
settled back in and we're staying.
it feels so good to be creative again...to unpack and put my things back out....to "live" 
in our house.  the work that went in to showings and offers is draining and stressful!
we are staying put for a while and our girls are happy as can be~



thanks to kasten and monique for the moth wing that goes perfect on my 
"where is your mother" journal page.....


more journal pages....


"today is love"


"take good care of your heart"


these oak leaf hydrangea blooms dried perfectly on the bush, and
i've been adding them to vases and tins around the house...


driftwood from the beach .
"smell the salted air of the sea"


 new candle stick...still collecting bits and pieces to make
these fun candlesticks. thrift store fun .....


my new art space...
after months of keeping everything put away, i transformed my art 
space into a place that i love ...it's so good to have all my supplies and
different tools spread out and ready for any minute of inspiration....
"open"


this page was inspired by a conversation i had with a dear friend.
"take good care of your heart"...and "aware"...
we are all going through something at some time in our lives, and it's 
so important to take care of ourselves during whatever struggles and changes
might be taking place.  it's also most important to be aware and listen to
everything around us.  this page evokes thought and compassion for me.
the bird symbolizes moving on, but in a peaceful way.
and the lotus flower...staying open~



"trust your intuition"
inspired by my girls and the importance of trusting our own voice and thoughts.
parenting is definitely the hardest thing i've ever done....(and the most valuable and 
rewarding).  i'm hoping to instill a confidence and wisdom in them that is unshakable 
in difficult times.  






"there is peace wherever i go"
this is a work in progress...i keep adding little pieces at a time...
i will finish it one day :)


new babies!
just around the corner is the best little barn ever!
"little paradise stables" houses miniature horses and they 
are adorable.  this is a  five week old baby...learning to give kisses !


onyx the kitten is growing up...
this little baby was brought home the weekend judy wise was staying with us.
during the middle of an art retreat, in walks my girl with this sick, tiny baby kitten
that needed constant attention!  she is perfectly well and happy now and part of the 
family. 


new baby at the neighbors house!  this little sweetie "quinn"
is the newest addition to the neighborhood~


and finally...
"abby the tabby"
our sweet abby is in kitty heaven now.
we will miss her dearly.
my man and i have had her for 19 years....
xo




"wild geese"
"you do not have to be good.
you do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
you only have to let the soft animal of your body 
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and i will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes, 
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things."

mary oliver