Monday, June 24, 2013

learning~

The Layers



I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
“Live in the layers,
not on the litter.”
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.





i was in a little shop at the beach and picked up this book of poetry, where this poem presented itself to me.  i've read it over and over and feel such a sense of connection to the words here.
what's happening in my world is what is always happening.  i'm learning everyday, about people...about friends and friendships...about losses...and about the tribe that i have created for me-for my family.  feeling intact most of the time, but also sometimes scattered.  the force of some people is more difficult than others.  and some habits and behaviors i can not ignore, but contemplate...what to do with .  what i know is that i am constantly learning, constantly evolving,  constantly growing.
lessons come to me and sometimes it is days...or even months before i realize their meaning.  life is this gigantic classroom filled with the beautiful and the ugly...and it's up to us to decipher, learn, stay, or move on.  along the way, if we have art to keep us grounded and alive...to help us swim instead of sink, we are ahead in a way that only the artist in us can understand~
thanks to judy...and to all other inspiring beautiful friends and artists in my life for the gentle lessons and words of wisdom that you may or may not even realize you have instilled.
xo

1 comment:

  1. As we grow older, the circle of people who really care about us grows smaller and smaller.Im glad youre still in my circle! Thank you for your friendship and love....

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